LGBTQ+ Bullying: Strategies for Healthy Coping
- Lisa S. Larsen, PsyD
- Jun 1
- 3 min read
Bullying that targets people who are LGBTQ+ continues to be a problem, especially for young people. Unfortunately, the political climate not only allows for this kind of behavior; it also seems to condone it and encourage it. This can lead to feeling scared, demoralized, angry, trapped, and further marginalized by the dominant culture. In some cases, LGBTQ+ youth are more likely to seriously consider suicide than cisgender and heterosexual youth. According to the Trevor Project, 42% of LGBTQ+ youth have considered suicide and more than half of those who identify as nonbinary or transgender have thought of suicide. This rate is even higher for Native/Indigenous American, multiracial, African American, and Latinx young people.[1]There are, however, ways to cope with bullying proactively. This post explores some of those strategies.
How common is LGTBQ bullying?
Bullying in general in young people places them at a higher risk for suicide.[2] For LGTBQ+ youth, they are much more likely to be victims of in-person and cyber bullying than their cisgender and heterosexual counterparts.[3] According to GSLEN, 83% of LGBTQ students have experienced bullying.[4] Bullying can lead to anxiety and depressive symptoms in the victims, and you might be socially isolated or shamed into silence. Some studies have suggested that male-identified LGBTQ+ individuals are more affected by bullying than female-identified people.[5]
What are healthy strategies for coping with LGBTQ+ bullying?
You can think of coping as a way to manage situations that you find stressful or harmful. Bullying certainly falls into this category, and feeling singled out because of your gender identity or sexual orientation makes it even harder because you may not find the support you would in a more accepting society. Some researchers have broken coping strategies into different categories: emotion-focused; problem-focused; social-focused; and meaning-focused.[6]
Problem-focused strategies include reporting the bully to the proper authorities; telling your caregivers or parents about the bullying; confronting the bully; ignoring the bully (if it is safe to do so; sometimes this escalates the problem); or changing one’s environment[7] (going to a different school or finding a different job).
Healthy emotion-focused coping for LGTBQ bullying includes seeking social support; creative expression or activities; connecting with supportive people who are like-minded and face similar challenges (like a support group or other LGBTQ+ youth); and accepting oneself. The latter strategy can be hard when you’ve been mistreated by others and not supported, but it is crucial to your mental wellbeing. If you adopt the narrative that you deserve what happened to you, the bully truly has won. It is vital to preserve your sense of worthiness, even in the face of bullying or harassment.
What is unhealthy?
Unhealthy coping strategies include self-harm; rumination; or seriously considering or attempting suicide. While understandable when going through something as traumatizing as bullying, these strategies punish the victim, not the perpetrator. In some climates and circumstances, passing as straight or cisgender might be a necessary survival strategy. However, the ultimate goal would be to find an affirmative environment where you can live authentically as an LGTBQ+ person.
Prevention is important in LGBTQ+ bullying
Creating an environment in which bullying is not tolerated is extremely important to solving this problem. Education for school staff and students, workplaces, and youth programs can create an environment that fosters more empathy and consideration of people who are different from the mainstream student body. Programs like Gay-Straight Alliances can also help in this regard. Policies that discourage bullying and harassment are also essential.
How is LGBTQ+ bullying affecting you or your loved ones?
This collective trauma of mistreatment, discrimination, and harm is difficult to bear on your own. You might have contemplated leaving the country because it feels unsafe and discriminatory at the moment, and you don’t know when or if it will improve. Perhaps you’re directly experiencing bullying at school or work, and you want someone to talk to where you feel safe and supported.
Even if you’re a cisgender, heterosexual person, you might know someone who’s being bullied for being LGBTQ+, and it is painful to witness. It might feel more empowering to be there emotionally for your friends and loved ones who are LGBTQ+, but you also need a safe place to process your feelings. I can provide that for anyone who is affected by LGBTQ-related bullying, and you might find healing in LGTBQ therapy. Please call me at 661-233-6771 or click the button below to work together.
References:
[6] https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/coping-strategies#:~:text=Coping%20is%20defined%20as%20what,reducing%20the%20negative%20emotional%20consequences.
