Grief After Losing a Veteran to Suicide
Veterans Day is meant to honor those who served. But for many families, the day carries a quieter, heavier meaning — it's a reminder of someone who served and is no longer here. As a psychologist in the Antelope Valley who works with grief and trauma, I hear this often: a veteran lost to suicide, and the family left behind navigating loss that feels impossible to name.
This post is about both sides of that pain. It's about understanding the sobering reality of grief after losing a veteran to suicide and those struggling with whether to live or not after serving our country. Clearly, we need to beef up veteran suicide prevention, and to support the families and fellow veterans who carry the loss of veterans who have died by their own hands. This includes people right here in Lancaster, home to a large military community tied to Edwards Air Force Base.
The reality of veteran suicide
The numbers deserve to be stated plainly, not softened. According to the VA's most recent National Veteran Suicide Prevention Annual Report, released in 2026 and based on 2024 data, 6,488 veterans died by suicide in a single year — an average of 17.7 veterans every day. Since 2001, nearly 160,000 veterans have died by suicide. The veteran suicide rate is roughly twice that of U.S. adults overall, and suicide is the second-leading cause of death among veterans under 45.
Those figures are easy to read and hard to absorb. Each number is a person — a parent, a child, a spouse, a battle buddy. Each one leaves behind a family that will grieve for the rest of their lives.
Why grief after losing a veteran to suicide is unique
Grief after a suicide is different. It's often tangled with shock, guilt, and endless "what if" questions. In addition to the regular pain of losing someone you love to suicide, there are extra layers of complexity and pain.
When the person who died was a veteran, those layers multiply:
• The loss feels tied to their service. Family members often wonder whether the military, combat, or repeated deployments played a role, and that question can be agonizing to sit with.
• It can compound prior grief. Many families have already lost people to war, to illness, to the long aftermath of service. A suicide can reopen older wounds.
• There can be shame and silence. Stigma around mental health in military culture can make families feel alone in their grief, as if they can't speak openly about how their loved one died.
• The grief is disenfranchised. When a loss isn't acknowledged by the wider community or carries a stigma, grieving people can feel invisible — as if they don't have "permission" to mourn the way they need to.
None of this is your fault, and none of it means your grief is wrong. It means you deserve support that understands the unique weight of this loss.
What helps in grief after losing a veteran
If you've lost a veteran to suicide, you are not alone. Please know that healing is possible — though it's rarely linear.
• Name the loss. Talking about your loved one, including how they died, can ease the isolation that fuels complicated grief.
• Seek grief-specific support. General support helps, but a therapist trained in grief and trauma — including approaches like EMDR, somatic work, and clinical hypnosis — can help your nervous system process what words alone may not reach.
• Connect with people who understand. Fellow military families, veteran service organizations, and support groups can offer a kind of understanding civilians can't fully replicate.
• Let Veterans Day be what it needs to be for you. You don't owe anyone a certain emotion on this day. Some years you'll want to remember publicly; other years you may need quiet. Both are okay.
Veteran suicide prevention: what everyone can do
Prevention starts long before a crisis. The single most protective factor for veterans is connection. That might look like:
• Checking in with a veteran in your life without waiting for them to reach out
• Normalizing therapy and mental health care as part of overall health
• Listening without judgment or a quick fix
• Knowing the warning signs: withdrawal; hopelessness; giving away belonging;, changes in sleep or mood; or talking about being a burden.
If you're a veteran reading this and struggling, please hear this directly: asking for help is not weakness. It is one of the bravest things you can do — and your life matters.
Resources for veterans and families
• Veterans Crisis Line: Call or text 988, then press 1. (You can also chat online at veteranscrisisline.net.)
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• VA services: The local VA is available to veterans regardless of discharge status for emergency care and can connect you to counseling.
• Local care: For residents of the Antelope Valley — including families connected to Edwards Air Force Base — grief-specific therapy is available in Lancaster and throughout California via telehealth.
Why Edwards Air Force Base matters to this conversation
This topic hits close to home for our community. Edwards Air Force Base, just east of Lancaster, is one of the most storied military installations in the country — home to test pilots, engineers, and thousands of active-duty personnel and their families.
The Antelope Valley is deeply shaped by the military, and with that comes the real cost of service: deployments, separations, and the mental health toll that too often goes unspoken.If you live near Edwards AFB or know someone stationed there, know this: the support for veteran suicide prevention and grief is here, and you don't have to travel far — or at all — to find it.
Veteran’s Day message to you
If today is heavy, I want you to know your grief makes sense, and you don't have to carry it alone. Whether you're a veteran, a spouse, a parent, or a battle buddy, reaching out for support is a form of honoring the person you lost — and honoring yourself.
If you'd like to talk about grief counseling or support after losing a veteran, I'm Lisa Larsen, a licensed psychologist in Lancaster, California, and I work with adults and families throughout the state via telehealth. I’d love to see if we could work together. Please click the button below to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation by phone. Still have questions? Please see the FAQs below.
Frequently Asked Questions
How many veterans die by suicide each day?
According to the VA's most recent annual report, an average of 17.7 veterans died by suicide each day in 2024 — 6,488 veterans in a single year. The rate remains roughly double that of U.S. adults overall.
What is the veteran suicide rate compared to the general population?
The veteran suicide rate is approximately twice the rate of the general U.S. adult population. It's also the second-leading cause of death for veterans under age 45.
What should I do if I'm a veteran thinking about suicide?
Reach out now. Call or text 988 and press 1 to connect with the Veterans Crisis Line, call 911 in an emergency, or go to the nearest emergency room. If you're not in crisis but struggling, therapy — including grief and trauma work — can help, and you don't need to be in crisis to reach out.
What should I do if I've lost a veteran to suicide?
Losing someone to suicide is complicated and can be traumatic, so be gentle with yourself, and don't grieve alone. Reach out to a therapist trained in grief and trauma and consider connecting with other military families or a support group. Complicated grief is real and treatable, and the right support makes a genuine difference.
Does grief therapy for veterans and families exist near Edwards Air Force Base?
Yes. In the Antelope Valley and throughout California, grief-specialized therapy is available in person and via telehealth. Because I practice online, families connected to Edwards AFB can access care from anywhere in California.
Is there still stigma about seeking help in the military community?
There can be, but it's changing. More veterans and military families than ever are speaking openly about mental health, and seeking help is increasingly recognized as a sign of strength, not weakness. Your mental health is your business, and sessions are confidential. You deserve care, and it's available without shame.
