The Gift of Yourself
Valentine’s Day brings many expectations of giving tangible items to symbolize love, such as chocolate, flowers, champagne, chocolate dipped strawberries, and cards. However, all the gifts in the world don’t stack up against a truly fulfilling relationship.
How do I do define a fulfilling relationship? I would say that when you feel accepted, love, heard, respected, and considered, you’re in a healthy, fulfilling relationship. Sounds good right? I think we all want this for ourselves and our loved ones. Yet many people aren’t sure how to execute these ideals. Here are just a few ideas to cultivate the kind of relationship of which I speak.
· Do you listen to your partner carefully? This may seem really silly that you be surprised how many people don’t really listen to one another. They think they know what the other person is saying but they project a lot of what they think is being said on to their loved one.
· Do you harbor a fantasy of changing your partner to be someone here she is not? We can’t all find someone who fulfills all our needs all the time, but we can hope to influence one another in a positive way. At the same time, if we started dating someone or got married to them and they were a certain way, it would be naïve and disrespectful to expect them to change to suit our needs and desires. When you love and accept the person you’re with just as they are, you have a better chance of receiving the same from him or her.
· Are you with this person simply because you don’t want to be alone? When was the last time you really enjoyed your partner’s company or admired some trait in them? How much do you appreciate their presence in your life? Perhaps you need to revisit why you got together with him or her and what keeps you together.
· What are your partner’s preferences and wishes? How often do you fulfill them? Are they reasonable to you? How often does your partner respect your wishes and preferences? What do you consider deal breakers and what do you consider minor annoyances? This can be helpful to put things in perspective.
There are many more ways that you can herself a gift to your partner, but being present, listening, considerate, accepting him or her as they are, and appreciating them are good ways to show how much you really care on a regular basis. If you have trouble with any of these skills, please call me at 661-233-6771.